This Memorial Day was less about remembering heros and more about remembering my friend Ryan. I was out at the coast for his bachelor party before he ties the knot this Friday. Rather than a raucous, debauched weekend, it was just five guys united by their bonds of friendship to Ryan... and a keg of beer.
I've had friends get married already, but this is the first REALLY close friend to go. His bride-to-be has basically been that for the past 2.5 years, though it's only been official for the last six months. Still, it's going to be quite the affair. I'm an usher (I didn't make groomsman because I won't wear a tuxedo. It's a longstanding vow of mine and Ryan knew me well enough not to even ask) and will be taking Ryan's parents down the aisle. But what I realized also sets this wedding apart is that Ryan comes so much from where I come from, and was so cared for by just about everybody, that EVERYONE will be at this wedding.
Let me just give you some context on Ryan: All through junior high and high school, he would go around to every table at lunch and ask for people's scraps. It wasn't because he was poor, it's just who Ryan is. And people would give him everything from a roll to some tater tots to hamburgers because he was so unapologetically genuine about what he was doing. I think he was the best fed kid at school. Ryan's peddling became so commonplace that people (myself included) would actually seek him out to give him food they weren't going to finish.
So myself and the people who care about him sent him off in style this weekend. Nothing special. Just good times, good smokes, good beach and good beer. We all love you, Ryan.
Thank you for reading.
5.30.2005
5.27.2005
Jobless and Joyful
I got fired last Tuesday.
It's been gradually sinking in since then, but last night I had a dream where I had it out with my old bosses and I came away from it feeling very cleansed. To those of you for whom this is news, I'll sum up: I had recently begun plugging my ipod (Yes, I bought a new one. I call it "Mpu2.") into the stero at work because any more time I spent listening to the crappy, stale music there would have caused me to jam a portafilter into my eye socket. I knew this would chap the bosses' hide. He designed the music program on the computer we used and it is the last remnants of his previous career in engineering. Still, I was willing to bear the consequences if they found out, and hoped it would open a dialogue about some changes that might be made.
Well, they found out. But I had underestimated the fury of Alex's wounded pride because he fired me on the spot. I didn't fight it, but I tried to explain some things to him that might improve the work environment for my co-workers. I doubt any of that penetrated. Because what you have to understand about this man is that he is mentally 7-years-old. He actually admitted to me, and it took a while before I could say this without envisioning my fist in his face, that had I not gone down and put Mpu2 in my bag while switching the stereo back to normal, he would have TAKEN AND KEPT it.
Let that sink in.
Yeah. Fucking absurd.
But regardless of how silly the situation is, it's a blessing. I've been discontent not just there, but with the entire service industry for some time. So the boot out the door is the push I needed to get going in a better direction. I'm reminded of The Sandman, my favorite comic series. For those of you not familiar, over the course of the books, the King of Dreams subconsciously sets himself up for a big fall because it is the only way he can get out of the rut he's in. I did the same thing. Because while I wouldn't say I was trying to get fired, I no longer feared any consequences my actions might bring and my according behavior was out of line.
Still, I have visions of the entire staff just walking out in protest and leaving the old bosses royally ass-fucked.
SO! I'm on the career hunt and if any people have suggestions, I am open to hear them. I've already contacted some temp agencies in the area, but I'd love to get more recomendations (there's so many). I'm thinking I'd like to find something to do with my writing/communication skills like marketing or public relations. I'm also looking at industries that are filled with creative energy like publishing, video games, shoes (nike and adidas are in my backyard). Of course, I might just go teach in Korea. "All things are possible in this best of all possible worlds."
Thank you for reading.
It's been gradually sinking in since then, but last night I had a dream where I had it out with my old bosses and I came away from it feeling very cleansed. To those of you for whom this is news, I'll sum up: I had recently begun plugging my ipod (Yes, I bought a new one. I call it "Mpu2.") into the stero at work because any more time I spent listening to the crappy, stale music there would have caused me to jam a portafilter into my eye socket. I knew this would chap the bosses' hide. He designed the music program on the computer we used and it is the last remnants of his previous career in engineering. Still, I was willing to bear the consequences if they found out, and hoped it would open a dialogue about some changes that might be made.
Well, they found out. But I had underestimated the fury of Alex's wounded pride because he fired me on the spot. I didn't fight it, but I tried to explain some things to him that might improve the work environment for my co-workers. I doubt any of that penetrated. Because what you have to understand about this man is that he is mentally 7-years-old. He actually admitted to me, and it took a while before I could say this without envisioning my fist in his face, that had I not gone down and put Mpu2 in my bag while switching the stereo back to normal, he would have TAKEN AND KEPT it.
Let that sink in.
Yeah. Fucking absurd.
But regardless of how silly the situation is, it's a blessing. I've been discontent not just there, but with the entire service industry for some time. So the boot out the door is the push I needed to get going in a better direction. I'm reminded of The Sandman, my favorite comic series. For those of you not familiar, over the course of the books, the King of Dreams subconsciously sets himself up for a big fall because it is the only way he can get out of the rut he's in. I did the same thing. Because while I wouldn't say I was trying to get fired, I no longer feared any consequences my actions might bring and my according behavior was out of line.
Still, I have visions of the entire staff just walking out in protest and leaving the old bosses royally ass-fucked.
SO! I'm on the career hunt and if any people have suggestions, I am open to hear them. I've already contacted some temp agencies in the area, but I'd love to get more recomendations (there's so many). I'm thinking I'd like to find something to do with my writing/communication skills like marketing or public relations. I'm also looking at industries that are filled with creative energy like publishing, video games, shoes (nike and adidas are in my backyard). Of course, I might just go teach in Korea. "All things are possible in this best of all possible worlds."
Thank you for reading.
5.13.2005
Allure and Dissapointment
I've been spending a lot of time poking around craigslist lately. My love for this site has already been covered and I am not claiming any originality in being one of its many fans. But what I've been so interested by lately are the personal sections - in particular the "casual encounters." I'm 98 percent there as a voyeur, which covers a large percentage of the readers, I'm sure. But, people post these things hoping for legitimate response. The whole breakdown is fascinating. Mostly gay/bi posts, followed by straight males and then ugly/older women. The odd post is by someone who probably has no need to do so, possessing the god given tools to secure satisfaction from whatever sex they want. I'm not saying any of this with disdain. Rather, it is illustrative (as even this or any other blog is) of the outlet created to just say what you want and hope to find a sympathetic ear - maybe even a collaborative voice.
The bottom line: People are lonely and I count myself among them. Don't take that as a depressive statement. I care for many people and have many that do the same for me. But I'm looking for more. To that end, I empathize with the people who make these posts - however outrageous... and I mean really outrageous.
But what happens when nobody answers? Whatever hope the Internet represents, I think it really just hold more dissapointment. Of course, that may just be a matter of asking for reasonable things. Substitute perhaps a conversation for a cock-sucking. See where that goes.
Thank you for reading.
The bottom line: People are lonely and I count myself among them. Don't take that as a depressive statement. I care for many people and have many that do the same for me. But I'm looking for more. To that end, I empathize with the people who make these posts - however outrageous... and I mean really outrageous.
But what happens when nobody answers? Whatever hope the Internet represents, I think it really just hold more dissapointment. Of course, that may just be a matter of asking for reasonable things. Substitute perhaps a conversation for a cock-sucking. See where that goes.
Thank you for reading.
5.06.2005
Boost
You know that feeling where you're talking with the most beautiful girl in the room even though you probably don't have any right to - and it's working? I hope so, because it's great.
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