Pub Ride: Sunset Over St. Johns

Flickr Album of Sunset Over St. Johns
Google Map of our route.


Riders: Mason, Bobby, Aaron
Ride Time: 5 hours
Ride Distance: 16 miles

Bobby and Aaron joined me for the first Pub Ride of the year last night, which was quite a kick off and will be tough to match. As I rode across the Broadway Bridge to meet them at Holdens, I was struck with the idea of riding to St. Johns along Hwy 30 and then drinking our way back to the city. The gentlemen agreed it was a fine idea, though I wonder if they really knew what they were getting themselves into.

I would like to point out two things from our time at Holdens: 1) Bobby's wonderful custom footware.


2) The obscene bug bitey thing that appeared and suddenly disappeared on my lip


We left Holdens around 8:15 and set out along Front Street. I wasn't really prepared for the eerie industrial area we passed through. I knew it was there, but only in that dismissive context of driving from one place to another having to pass some boring scenery. On bikes, you really soak it all up. The railroad tracks on the left for the constant moving in and out of goods (which makes for lots of tracks to ride over. Boo.), the large silos of fuel and other chemicals. Bobby observed that if The Terrorists ever want to do some real damage, they just have to come here.


As we rode through this beautifully ugly space we were fighting strong winds and staring down the setting sun. On one hand, it was the hardest part of the ride and I'm glad we did it first. On the other hand, I wasn't drinking enough yet.

When we summited the St. Johns Bridge the sun had just gone behind the hills of Forrest Park, but the air had that pink/purple haze of sunset. It was a beautiful view and even Bobby admitted it was worth the trouble. He got a little poopy on the ride up the hill and needed a breather. In a place like that, I wasn't going to protest.

Stop 1: The Perch
The destination in St. Johns was left to chance, but as we rode on Lombard we all slowed our pace to look at The Perch Tavern. One of Portland's many dive bars, you never know what you will find. We pulled up to the bike racks (good sign) and Aaron commented: "You ever felt like you had to pee so bad that if you farted you'd pee yourself? That's how I feel now." I do love these guys.

If I have ever felt more like an owl in its nest than at The Perch, I don't know when. The entire thing is brown and wooded and lit with warm red-yellow lights of gaming machines. Owl figurines and bric-a-brack adorn walls and shelves. Their tap selection consists of Bud, Bud Light, Pabst, Coors Light and Miller. Their bottle selection is extensive, with all of the above tap beers offered in both can and bottle, along with just about every other crap beer you can think of. For the ladies in the house, there is Mike's, Smirnoff Ice, Sparks, etc.

Oh, and Snapple.

The music selection at this place was varied, and we all gave each other a look when a Randy Travis song segued into "Shoop" by the immortal Salt N' Pepper.

Stop 2: The Chapel
I'd had my heart set on seeing McMenamins latest pub on Killingsworth, so I set the course. We stumbled in shortly after happy hour, which was a delightful treat. I'd eaten a full dinner, but we had done some hard riding and I barely gave Bobby and Aaron a chance to eat any of the tots we ordered (which the waitress kindly made a split order of Cajun and Regular. The basket had a little divider down the middle. Adorable!)

The Chapel is smaller than I had thought it would be, which is not to say that it is exactly small. There are many smaller rooms, nooks and crannies that hide the space. The patio, which was closed, really seems the selling point for this pub. Still, another triumph for McMenamins. I often find myself bad mouthing the chain because it has grown so big, it is now "The Man." Their beers are fine, but there are better out there. Their food is good enough. But what they do for the cultural buildings of this City is beyond reproach.

Tots in my belly and a group pitcher of Ruby later, we were off.

Stop 3: Vendetta

We had aimed to play shuffleboard, but I should have known better. Nobody waltzes into Vendetta on a Friday night at 11pm and just gets to play shuffleboard. So we contented ourselves to beers and crowd watching. I observed that Bobby and Aaron often drink bottled beers (their list so far included: Amstel Light, Coronas and now Heinekens). Bobby blamed his oral fixations. Aaron said he just wasn't paying attention to what the board said was on tap and not. To me, it is a great insult to go to a bar and drink something I can so readily have at home. Yes, I often drink Pabst while I'm out. But it is TAP Pabst. Do I have a keg of Pabst in my house? Only when I dream...

Stop 4: The Gotham
One of my main reasons for going to the Gotham Tavern was the chance to ride down the hill on Russell. Good hill. If you ride a bike, you should take advantage. Weeeeee!

I haven't been to the Gotham since it switched ownership, and they've done wonderful things. The wooded wall has been changed to really air the place out. And they constructed two hives in the back, one of which we were privileged to call ours. It was around 11:30 when we arrived and the place was dead, so we were well attended. We all drank a delightful hefeweizen with something about Pigs in the name. I'm sad that I seem to have forgotten. The bartender offered us the choice of lemon or orange. Bonus point to the Gotham. And take note of their $3 happy hour after 9pm. Very nice.

The boys spent most of their time listening to me bitch about women and offering some helpful advice. As I know Bobby will read this: I'm sorry for being such a whiny pansy.

I don't know how things were for Bobby and Aaron, but speaking for myself, I was fading. It was a pub ride to be proud of. The only thing I see being able to surpass it is if we get more people into the mix. I'm talking to YOU.

-Thank you for reading.